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**KonaKane** · 12-25-2011, 05:05 PM

Is it real or is it Memorex? Who cares. It's a compelling idea.

RNC: Let's Write This Election Off
Networked Press
12/24/11
by Joshua Helwin

[Image: 110718_reince_priebus_ap_328.jpg]

[Image: 110718_reince_priebus_ap_328.jpg]

RNC Chairman Reince Priebus: Let's punt this one

In a startling announcement today, Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus urged his party to withdraw completely from the 2012 presidential election.

Citing an "astoundingly embarrassing line up of candidates", Priebus urged the committee to bow out of the race completely "for the reputation of the party".

Speaking to a dumbstruck crowd of two thousand GOP activists and organizers, Priebus went into detail regarding the trevails of the current Republican presidential candidates, and how a protracted election season would do permanent and perhaps fatal damage to the party.

"It's time to face facts. We have absolutely nothing to stand behind in this election" Priebus remarked. "What do we have? We have punch drunk retarded Texas governor who can't debate himself out of a paper bag, a fundamentalist Jesus-Eyed whackjob from Minnesota with a closet case husband, and a Mormon stuffed suit with more conflicting views than housefly in a hall of mirrors."

"Add to that a Washington insider who divorced his wife on her deathbed, and a libertarian freak with a penchant for writing racist newsletters and refusing to own up to it, and you have a disaster in the making for this party. There is not a single candidate we have to offer to whom I could give my vote, in all good conscience." Priebus added.

Republican leaders and luminaries, as well as House Speaker John Boehner and Senate minority leader Mitch McConnell, distanced themselves from the astonishing announcement. "Let's not take this out of context" replied Boehner, quickly adding "I think Chairman Priebus may be suffering from fatigue, people can say strange things when they are worn out."

Chairman Priebus swiftly responded that he is in fine health and not fatigued, and meant everything he said. "John is a delusional, over-tanned drunk with his dick in the pocket of the Tea Party. Nothing he has to say at this point has a shred of credibility."

The RNC plans to meet again this week, and vote on Priebus' motion to withdraw, as well as tend to other business.

**RoyGBiv** · 12-25-2011, 07:27 PM

This is one of those things I just can't tell whether it's satire.

**KonaKane** · 12-25-2011, 07:38 PM

I know, a real tight-rope, huh?

**jaxx** · 12-25-2011, 09:43 PM

Awesome dreamscape if it is. Wink

**KonaKane** · 12-25-2011, 10:14 PM

No, it's my limp rip-off of their schtick.

**jaxx** · 12-25-2011, 10:18 PM

.

**Drunken Irishman** · 12-26-2011, 12:43 AM

Guessing satire, but with how bad their candidates are, you could definitely believe it.

That's a sad statement for the Republicans.

**Brainwreck** · 12-26-2011, 10:41 PM

Is this for real? Even if it isn't I'm for sending it off to all my republican friends(??) and watching their brains drop. It is just so delicious. Thank you KonaKane for giving me such a delightful gift this season. Nanner

Oh, maybe I'm asleep and it is all a sweet dream. Grin

**KonaKane** · 12-26-2011, 10:47 PM

(12-26-2011 10:41 PM)Brainwreck Wrote: Is this for real? Even if it isn't I'm for sending it off to all my republican friends(??) and watching their brains drop. It is just so delicious. Thank you KonaKane for giving me such a delightful gift this season. Oh, maybe I'm asleep and it is all a sweet dream.

My pleasure, and I'm sorry that my satire filter is set so close to reality. I really have to work on that one.

***There Is No Spoon*** · 12-26-2011, 10:52 PM

(12-26-2011 10:47 PM)KonaKane Wrote:
(12-26-2011 10:41 PM)Brainwreck Wrote: Is this for real? Even if it isn't I'm for sending it off to all my republican friends(??) and watching their brains drop. It is just so delicious. Thank you KonaKane for giving me such a delightful gift this season. Oh, maybe I'm asleep and it is all a sweet dream.

My pleasure, and I'm sorry that my satire filter is set so close to reality. I really have to work on that one.

I kept clicking on colored text for a link to some Onion article or something similar - you really outdid yourself on this one. Clap

**KonaKane** · 12-26-2011, 11:02 PM

(12-26-2011 10:52 PM)There Is No Spoon Wrote: I kept clicking on colored text for a link to some Onion article or something similar - you really outdid yourself on this one.

LOL - sorry about that. I need to refine my satire filters.

**JuniperLea** · 12-28-2011, 04:31 PM

(12-26-2011 10:52 PM)There Is No Spoon Wrote:
(12-26-2011 10:47 PM)KonaKane Wrote: My pleasure, and I'm sorry that my satire filter is set so close to reality. I really have to work on that one.

I kept clicking on colored text for a link to some Onion article or something similar - you really outdid yourself on this one.

I did the same thing! Truly brilliant work, KonaKane!

Clap

**KonaKane** · 12-28-2011, 04:44 PM

(12-28-2011 04:31 PM)JuniperLea Wrote: I did the same thing! Truly brilliant work, KonaKane!

LOL thank you m'dear...but you know this stuff just writes itself.

**Ikonoklast** · 12-27-2011, 01:40 PM

When weilding satire as a weapon, the sharper the better.

**Ivaltail** · 12-28-2011, 01:53 PM

I'm all for the "libertarian freak with a penchant for writing racist newsletters and refusing to own up to it" man.

***azmouse*** · 12-28-2011, 02:07 PM

(12-28-2011 01:53 PM)Ivaltail Wrote: I'm all for the "libertarian freak with a penchant for writing racist newsletters and refusing to own up to it" man.

Why?

**jaxx** · 12-28-2011, 02:14 PM

(12-28-2011 01:53 PM)Ivaltail Wrote: I'm all for the "libertarian freak with a penchant for writing racist newsletters and refusing to own up to it" man.

Did you forget the Sarcasm

thingy?

**KonaKane** · 12-28-2011, 02:16 PM

(12-28-2011 01:53 PM)Ivaltail Wrote: I'm all for the "libertarian freak with a penchant for writing racist newsletters and refusing to own up to it" man.

OK, no more booze for you.

**RoyGBiv** · 12-28-2011, 04:32 PM

(12-28-2011 01:53 PM)Ivaltail Wrote: I'm all for the "libertarian freak with a penchant for writing racist newsletters and refusing to own up to it" man.

You put that on your resume, do ya?

***There Is No Spoon*** · 12-28-2011, 06:07 PM

(12-28-2011 01:53 PM)Ivaltail Wrote: I'm all for the "libertarian freak with a penchant for writing racist newsletters and refusing to own up to it" man.

No.

**Brewman_Jax** · 12-28-2011, 02:54 PM

Considering the quality of candidates, I agree. roflmao

**Proud Liberal Dem** · (This post was last modified: 12-29-2011 08:35 AM by Proud Liberal Dem.)

They would never go on the record as such but I wouldn't be surprised if they aren't essentially resigned to it absent some "miracle" candidate though. Keep in mind that the problem isn't necessarily just that they have bad ideas (and no new ones) but that they don't have any good "salespeople" either.

**KonaKane** · 12-29-2011, 11:51 AM

(12-29-2011 08:33 AM)Proud Liberal Dem Wrote: They would never go on the record as such but I wouldn't be surprised if they aren't essentially resigned to it absent some "miracle" candidate though. Keep in mind that the problem isn't necessarily just that they have bad ideas (and no new ones) but that they don't have any good "salespeople" either.

Yep. Old advertising maxim: The messenger IS the message.