Slouching Towards Tampa (Newtorious B.I.G. edition) - Printable Version
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Slouching Towards Tampa (Newtorious B.I.G. edition) - JeffR - 05-06-2012 04:14 PM
Read the full article on the blog.
Last month's Friday the 13th was an inauspicious day for Newt Gingrich. The disgraced former Speaker and vanity presidential candidate was lucky enough to get a private tour of the St. Louis Zoo, but Gingrich's luck ran out when he was bitten by a Magellanic penguin.
What prompted the attack is unknown. Since Gingrich pontificates more frequently than most people blink, the penguin could have been irked by some insufferably pompous pronouncement. Or maybe the bird prefers Romney. Perhaps it simply mistook Gingrich for a pasty, freakishly large cuttlefish.
Whatever the cause, Gingrich's campaign never recovered, even if his finger did. It was no secret that things were already going badly. Gingrich had begun renting out his donor list to help cover a $4.5 million campaign debt. The Center for Health Transformation, a Gingrich "think" tank, filed for Chapter 7. The campaign bounced a $500 check to Utah.
Finally, having previously announced that he would announce the end of his campaign, he announced the end of his campaign:
"Today I am suspending the campaign, but suspending the campaign does not mean suspending citizenship…"Pow! Take that, all you people who believe that suspending a campaign means suspending citizenship!
Gingrich himself offered up the best epitaph for his campaign, and for the Republican Party in general:
“I think you have to at some point be honest with what’s happening in the real world, as opposed to what you’d like to have happened."It's going to be fascinating to see how this honesty thing works out for Gingrich. 68 is a bit long in the tooth to be trying something like this for the first time. On the other hand, it's not like he has anything else to do, other than gaze fondly into the mirror while he hums "Hail to the Chief."
Word is Rmoney is so desperate to corral the egregious asshole voting bloc that... - MilesColtrane - 05-06-2012 10:27 PM
he's agreed to pay off some of Gingrich's debt in exchange for an endorsement from him.
RE: Slouching Towards Tampa (Newtorious B.I.G. edition) - There Is No Spoon - 05-06-2012 11:05 PM
Heh, I looked at the pic expecting only Romney left, then I remembered that Paul is not quitting. In fact, Paul has won both Maine and Nevada's delegates so he'll be an agitator at the convention. I find that to be quite hilarious.
Deep pockets + no scruples = - JeffR - 05-07-2012 12:32 AM
He's been on a stealth campaign to amass delegates - JeffR - 05-07-2012 12:36 AM
and it seems as though he's done a pretty good job of it, at least enough to extract some concessions in Tampa. As to what those might be, I'm already enjoying daydreaming.
RE: Slouching Towards Tampa (Newtorious B.I.G. edition) - jaxx - 05-07-2012 08:23 AM
Finally Newt gets the red circle over his face! My gawd I thought it would never happen, but the $$ got him....Willard probably laughed all the way to the bank.
Ron Paul stands there now with Willard....a thorn in his side. This will be interesting in Tampa, I don't think Paul is worried about the $$ and what Willard and the GOP think.
This one was worth waiting for Jeff!